The Fantastic Four 60.1: Fun with the Fantastic Four, part 2

In the first half of my Fantastic Four adventure on The Signal Watch Podcast, we discussed the 2005 Fantastic Four movie, and here in Part 2, we talk about the 2015 reboot, which is seriously just as bad as everybody said it was.

This objectively terrible movie shows the FF as nobody wanted to see them: deeply unhappy government assets, who are locked up in a secret underground bunker and despise each other.

But you can sit back and enjoy the schadenfreude as Ryan and I tear apart all of the decisions that director Josh Trank and the incompetent studio execs made, as they desperately tried to land this film. Body horror! A completely unnecessary CGI chimp! Finding a clearly dangerous and unstable form of energy in an unknown dimension, and sticking your hand in it! And the two words you must never say to anyone who has seen this movie: Pattern recognition!

I hope you all enjoy these, because I had a wonderful time and I want to do more of them. Seriously, if you haven’t heard me on podcasts yet, you have no idea how delightful I am to spend time with. Give it a shot.

Next:
2.35: Mainly About Hot Dogs

Chapters
Movie list

— Danny Horn

4 thoughts on “The Fantastic Four 60.1: Fun with the Fantastic Four, part 2

  1. I mentioned last week that I forgive the previous FF film in part because it introduced me to Chris Evans. This one introduced me to Michael Bae Jordan, and I still can’t forgive it. I try to forget it even exists. I dread the point some 20 years in the future when Danny gets to it and goes over it in detail.

    To quote MST3K: DEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP HUUUUUURRRRRRTTTTTTING

    Liked by 3 people

  2. ” who are locked up in a secret underground bunker and despise each other.”
    Oh no! Didn’t the film makers read the comic books? They’re supposed to be in a penthouse Sciene Laboratory at the top of a skyscraper, and despise each other!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “And what exactly is wrong with pattern recognition?” he asked, indignantly setting down the most recent copy of _IEEE Transactions on Pattern Analysis and Machine Intelligence_ and accidentally knocking an old copy of the British journal _Pattern Recognition_ off the coffee table.

    I haven’t seen this movie, but I had great fun reading reviews after seeing this post. The reviewer for baptistnews.com — someone who probably wears a WWJD bracelet — looked at that bracelet and decided The Big Guy would probably title his review “‘Fantastic Four delivers a plateful of stink.” The _Atlantic_ broke it down in “‘Fantastic Four’ A Spoilereview of a Very Bad Film”.

    If Danny didn’t see the _Washington Post_ review, I think he’d like it. Titled “‘Fantastic Four’ is ‘The Room’ of superhero movies,” not only does it include such gems as “It was like Tommy Wiseau directed a superhero movie. It was like watching the Fox News GOP debate, but without the plot, stakes or cheery presence of Donald Trump.” and “It wasn’t like they threw out the baby with the bathwater, in the editing room. It’s as though they made an explicit point to keep the bathwater and lose the baby,” it breaks down explicitly (in a very Danny-esque way) exactly what’s wrong with the movie.

    Liked by 1 person

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