It was silly of me, I suppose, to hope that a follow-up to WandaVision, Loki and Spider-Man: No Way Home would be anything but disappointing; I just didn’t expect it to be as disappointing as this. I guess sometimes green means stop.
Once again, I’m taking my life in my hands, performing the incredible daredevil feat of getting drunk and talking about terrible non-MCU Marvel movies on the Signal Watch podcast. This time, host Ryan Steans and I take apart the 2007 Nicolas Cage barnburner Ghost Rider, the first movie ever filmed entirely on the side of a guy’s van.
This movie has — 18 second pause — everything, if you like people who drive fast and talk slow. Nicolas Cage plays a mentally-uncertain motorcycle riding daredevil, who sells his soul to the Devil for a bag of magic beans and turns into a flaming-skull CGI desktop screensaver, battling a cadre of mean demons and that one guy who tried to steal a girl’s purse.
So please join us as we discuss Ninja Turtles, haunted electricity, soap opera devils, a strangely non-sexy shirtless dude scene, and — most shocking of all — the terrible truth about Eva Mendes’ feet.
It’s dynamite. Five sticks of it. And he’s maybe eighteen inches away from it when it explodes.
The combined effects of the blast and the reflex muscles in his legs propel him through the door and into the swamp…
… but Alec Holland is already dead.