There’s an old Native American proverb that says: inside every person, there are two bears forever locked in combat for your soul. That doesn’t sound very likely, though, so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
This week on the podcast, Becca Petunia from the Muppet fansite Tough Pigs joins me to talk about The New Mutants, the 2020 haunted hospital pic about five teenage supermutants who find themselves on the wrong end of a horror movie.
Now, making a horror movie about these X-babies is an extremely peculiar thing to do, because the protagonists can teleport, burst into flames, summon a magic sword and turn into a werewolf, which means they’re automatically the scariest thing in the room. But the film tries to make it happen, with spectacularly weird results. Come join me and Becca as we attempt to comprehend this mutant misfire.
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Here’s Act 2:
And Act 3:
Next:
We put the freeze on
Batman & Robin!
— Danny Horn
Superheroes Every Day 
So the comic book was better. I wish Becca had written the screenplay for this. It must be very disappointing for comic book fans to see them adapted so badly.
This is an odd, spooky coming-of-age movie as if The Breakfast Club was crossed with Village of the Damned. The thumbnail on Disney+ has dark figures with glowing eyes instead of blondes but the vibe is the same. It certainly doesn’t feel like a Marvel movie. It feels like a cheap horror movie but without any fun bits.
The female action figure with interchangeable heads is mostly accurate but not in this movie. The actress playing Dani was definitely not the equal of the other two girls.
At least it was short.
But Danny, I would pay good money for a Superheroeseveryday t-shirt that read
Believe in yourself
Be true to your friends
Nut up
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There’s a deleted scene I found on YouTube with a shirtless ‘Berto playing basketball with Sam and getting so hot and bothered by it that he has to go cool down. Interpret that as you will.
And if you’re a fan of Henry Zaga, he was a recurring character on the fourth (and final) season of Nancy Drew, playing a shaggy-haired, puppy-eyed potential beau for the titular character (competing with her other shaggy-haired, puppy-eyed beau).
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