People sometimes ask, if I’m writing about superhero movies in such painstaking detail, how am I ever going to get to the later movies?
Well, this is one way: going on other people’s podcasts to talk about them! This week, I’m the guest on a 2-part episode of The Signal Watch Podcast, comparing the 2005 Fantastic Four movie and the 2015 Fantastic Four movie.
Continue reading Fantastic Four 28.1: Fun with the Fantastic Four, part 1
The bar is destroyed, the Jeep is unsalvageable, the meth lab in the barn exploded, and the business district will never be the same. Still, there’s one demographic in East Houston that seems to be pleased with the current trend of events: the chickens.
“Come forward!” Ursa proclaims. (cluck cluck cluck) “Your general (cluck cluck) wishes to speak.”
“I am (cluck cluck) General Zod, your ruler!” says the suzerain. “Yes!” (cluck cluck) “Today begins a new order! Your lands, your possessions, your very lives will gladly be given in tribute to me, General Zod! In return for your obedience, you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words, you will be allowed to live!” (cluck cluck cluck)
That’s got to be the thing that appeals to the poultry voting bloc — the promise that if they’re obedient, they’ll be allowed to live. That’s a better deal than chickens usually get.
You know, they say most accidents happen in the home, and that’s even more true for Superman, because his house is a slippery Arendelle ice castle with huge holes in the floor that act as an unwanted houseguest disposal feature. It’s a nice place to visit, but you have to watch your step or else you’ll tumble into an eternal abyss. Also, there’s no place to sit down.
Continue reading Superman II 2.29: Home, and Other Dangerous Places
Okay, so I might have gotten a little distracted yesterday by the unbelievably crappy little town that the Kryptonians are demolishing, and I didn’t focus on evaluating this sequence for what it is: a tutorial level.
Well, this is going to put quite the crimp in the East Houston Cultural Arts and Ballet Festival coming up in a couple weeks. The orchestra is currently on fire, the dance studio no longer exists, and the recital hall has half of a burning helicopter in it. We’re going to have to cancel the Poetry Slam, and we won’t have time to dedicate the new wing of the East Houston Public Library, even if we manage to dig it out from under the rubble. This is going to set the local art scene back like you wouldn’t believe.
I’m kidding, of course; the population of East Houston, Idaho consists entirely of leering comedy hillbillies, and that’s why it’s okay to murder them and demolish their shitty business district.
Continue reading Superman II 2.27: Think Globally, Kill Locally
Superheroes Every Day 