Long, long ago, a group of clueless, beautiful rich people came to our planet for an extended visit, to screw up our history and take credit for stuff that we invented. Or at least, that’s what they say in the 2022 MCU macrodisaster Eternals, which squandered Marvel’s social capital with too many characters and not enough sense.
On the podcast this week, guest Trevor Bolliger and I dig into the story of what the hell happened, starting with Jack Kirby’s cosmic failures and the white supremacist ideology behind the premise of the film. And it gets even more fun from there!
Join us as we talk about Kit Harington and his tragically small role, why Arishem and Ajak are terrible managers, and which Eternals we wish we could cut from the movie.
The podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, YouTube, Overcast, Audible, Stitcher and lots of other places. Come check it out!
As usual, I’m splitting the episode according to the Syd Field three-act structure, with Act 1 out on Monday, and Acts 2 and 3 released on Wednesday and Friday.
Here’s act 2:
And act 3:
Next week on the podcast:
It’s Morbin’ time!
Episode 7: Morbius
— Danny Horn
Superheroes Every Day 
I love that you had a post-credit scene.
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I enjoyed the Eternals comics of the ’70s and ’80s, so I was looking forward to the movie. I was pretty much disappointed by the movie, except for the parts that y’all likewise praised. In part, the comics did a better job in integrating them into the greater Marvel Universe, despite Kirby’s original desire to keep them separate. As the group is set up in the film, their connection to the greater MCU is really tenuous, despite hand-wavy mentions of why they didn’t get involved with Thanos et al. I think that’s one of the reasons the film didn’t land well. Plus what y’all say about mostly unlikeable, whiny rich people being all colonial.
I was excited to have Pip the Troll and Eros/Starfox show up in the post-credits scene, but I was also really distracted trying to figure out who was playing the latter and why he seemed so familiar. Then it was, oh, Harry Styles. Is he trying to be an actor now? Huh.
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