Tag Archives: ninjas

Episode 16: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,

Knock knock, you about to get shell shocked! The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back in theaters this summer, and to celebrate, I’ve decided to talk to a TMNT megafan about one of the worst possible iterations of the Turtles saga — Michael Bay’s 2014 toy-store tentpole (teenage mutant) NINJA TURTLES!

I’m joined again by Sloane, illustrator and creator of the Hauntwares clothing line, who loves the Turtles and does not love this movie. This action figure playset comes complete with nonsensical backstory, a ninja clan that drives sport utility vehicles, an utterly unconvincing gal reporter, and a villain that’s been split into two characters at the very last minute of production. Join us as we try to puzzle out what this movie is trying to get across!

The podcast is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, YouTube, Overcast, Audible and lots of other places. Come check it out!

Continue reading Episode 16: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 →

Elektra 25.2: This Will Make You Happy

Elektra, ,

I know that it sounds impossible. Elektra is a terrible movie, you would say, and you would be one hundred percent correct. If you listened to the first part of our two-part Elektra episode on the Signal Watch podcast, you learned exactly how terrible the first half of the movie is.

And yet — here in part 2 — I will give you four very good reasons to watch the final battle sequence from Elektra, and when you do, it will make you happy, and your life will be improved.

Continue reading Elektra 25.2: This Will Make You Happy →

Elektra 25.1: Go Ninja Go Ninja Go

Elektra,

We always knew that it was our destiny… The day would come when Ryan Stearns of the Signal Watch and I would face our fears, and record a podcast episode about Elektra, the utterly failed 2005 sequel to the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie.

Join us for our two-part adventure as we discuss this spiritual sequel to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, where we talk about career criminals who don’t understand the concept of evidence, ninjas that burst into green powder when they die, and why you actually want to hear the “schwing” sound when someone pulls a knife on you.

Continue reading Elektra 25.1: Go Ninja Go Ninja Go →

Swamp Thing 3.19: The Unknown Soldiers

Swamp Thing, ,

A swamp. A tree. Evening.

Estragon:  Where’s Danny?

Vladimir:  Where’s Willie?

Estragon:  Maybe Willie’s with Tyrone.

Vladimir:  Danny shot Tyrone.

Estragon:  Oh, yeah.

I mean, technically the dialogue is more Abbott & Costello than Waiting for Godot, but you have to admit that if it’s possible to have a Theater of the Absurd action sequence that makes you question the existence of God and the fundamental moral nature of modern society, then this swamp stomp is about as absurd as it gets.

Continue reading Swamp Thing 3.19: The Unknown Soldiers →